That thing called future

The  Intro. So after a decade of not writing anything really, I’m posed to think to write of something explosive. I have no idea why, but, maybe because it feels like a comeback. The feeling became worse when my friend Calvin revamped his blog already by putting actual pages and fixing everything and including recent projects he has been working on (more on that later), and there I was checking out his new site and thinking to myself, why the heck* not write something?

I could list a lot of explanations why I couldn’t blog despite the fact that I feel like I have a lot to share. But maybe then again, having a lot to share because of having a lot of shizz happening means less time for actually sharing it. But as I was helping out in an event related to my summer internship, it really made me think, seriously, why the heck am I not writing something?

The Dream. The event was for Lancome where they launched Emma Watson as their new endorser. Click here for pictures and others. I am technically not part of the Lancome team, I am part of Kiehl’s but I helped out anyway because I’m such a good person. Kidding. Lancome and Kiehl’s have the same brand manager and I helped out with registration and handing out press kits. The event was awesome. It was held in Skye Lounge and we were all wearing white and everything looked so posh and so nice. But what’s better is that handling registration and seeing all the names reminded me of what I have always dreamed of becoming. Aside from my undying princess dream, I have always wanted to be a magazine writer. From the moment I read my first Candy until the moment I have upgraded myself to reading Preview and Cosmo, I have always envied the lives of the people behind those pages. Why? Read further. Chos.

I guess I loved what they write about, the pictures that come with what they write and how they write it. I remember being so amused that this was a real job. And so as I read the names of the people on the list, I did not have a hard time recalling which magazines they represent. Sure, I may have mismatched some but I was definitely amused at the fact that I could recognize a huge percentage of the names on the list. And I was starstruck (deep inside) as each of those names came out of the elevator and approached the big white classy Lancome registration table we were proudly standing behind of. And as they said, “Hi! I’m <name> from <magazine>.” and then proceeded to chat with other writers already inside the venue, all I could do was simply tell Cha, “Mygad, this is the dream.”

Emma Watson for Lancome, Skye Lounge. May 15, 2012. L’Oreal (Luxury Products Department) Interns Cha (shu uemura), Joan (Lancome), Me (Kiehl’s). I was feeling the photo wall. Haha.

The Reason. And I thought real hard about why this is the dream which made me think of why I like writing. Believe it or not, despite being really really talkative (seriously), I feel like I still have a lot to say and I get to say it through writing. Also, I always think of a lot of things. I like reflecting on things. As a self-confessed overthinker, I go back through my day and think of things I have learned and things I could have done, etc. And all of these I get to lay down through writing. Aside from the typical reason of ‘having something to leave behind or having something to hold on to, memory-keeping and the like’ which are also very important, I realized that writing will always be the better version of myself. I get the chance to edit my thoughts and present it in a way I want to present it. So different from normal me saying random things and going back saying why in the world did I say that? It comes with being madaldal I guess. Writing provides an opportunity for me to organize myself and my very messy but (I’d like to believe) worthwhile thoughts.

Why not journalism or creative writing? I was never into journalism, I seriously think I’d be fired first day on the job for trying to write ‘serious events’ in a much less serious way. Haha. I haven’t totally ruled out fiction but I doubt I could write a novel though. What I’d be really interested in, and I think it’s part of my list, is to be a kid’s storybook writer. I think a huge part of what shaped me (chos) were Adarna books. I’d read them over and over, including the part where they explain what the book is really talking about, beneath the colorful pictures and seemingly simple series of events.  Anyway, so I’d love to work for a magazine (one that’s aligned with my interests) because I guess I realize that these writers constantly experience new things.

Magazine writers get to try out new products first, get to meet tons of colorful people, go to events, adjust to the ever-changing trends of the world, read a book and watch a movie just so they could share their thoughts about it. This “job” is just too good. These people get paid to discover the world.  They are paid to pay close attention to the world, what it needs, though most of the time what it wants, what it has to offer and they dive in to experience it – and then they get to tell people about it. This job’s basic requirement is the drive and curiosity to seek out new things and the courage to try them out. You’d say that other jobs have this also, sure, but I think this is more fun. And having it as a job requires you to be constantly excited and curious about things and in this day and age (triplechos) where sleeping is such a luxury, shutting out the world occasionally could be very tempting. So yeah, the job assures that you’re always looking at the world through excited eyes, through eyes that know or at least have to believe that there is something out there worth writing a story about.

The Ticket. Talking about this and thinking about it make me question what I’ve actually done to move at least a little bit closer to my dream. Nada. Shaaame. Just creating this somehow public blog is (deepdown why I really made it) to try and poke an eye into this awesome world – through blogging; yet I can’t even regularly write in it. And so, I will try to make this pledge to invest much more in this dream. If there’s anything I should’ve learned from Finance, it would be that big projects need investments and investments are made with the belief that you would get something out of it in the future (different from a gamble where you really don’t know what’ll happen, investments is expected to give you something in the future). So I need to invest in this dream. [Another anecdote would be the guy asking to win the lottery everyday but then has never bought a ticket.] I shall be constantly buying tickets or working to buy those tickets. And I have a few things I have in my mind to use as instruments: one of them is to at least regularly blog. Plus, in case I don’t get my dream, at least trying it/trying to blog about things I experience, is almost just as good. The only difference is I don’t actually get paid for experiencing the world. But then again, it was never about the money.

Bow.

P.S. I really ought to do the things I have always dreamed of doing. After all, I do not totally not believe in the 2012 scare. Haha. Plus the whole YOLO philosophy thing my brother keeps telling me. You only live once. That’s so true, anyone can die but not everyone lives. Grabe, words of wisdom right there. Time to live, Timmy. I won’t be able to afford a ticket in the huge submarine being built in China.

P.P.S. I had this random burst of fear a while ago about the future (hence the title). I have no idea where I am going to end up in and I’m not sure where I want to end up in. It’s starting to sink in, senior year’s approaching. The real world leaves no room for excuses, more on that later. Haha.

*This is not a poser term. I really don’t use it but I’m not comfortable writing down hell here though that’s what I really use. I have serious issues. 

Kids love athletes because they follow their dreams. -Up in the Air

Young Blood

Yaay. First thing that was forcibly registered into my brain today was that my article about my exchange experience was on page A11 of Inquirer, under the Young Blood Column! I was groggy, moody and disoriented (definitely not a morning person), when my mom showed me the article; but of course, I got happy and excited in a second. I must admit I have been hoping and waiting that they publish it though I have no idea how Young Blood works. I don’t know if they publish everything that’s sent to them or what, but however the system is, I’m still very very very happy I got to read it on actual newspaper – the type of paper that has always (ever since I can remember) irritated my ever so sensitive nose.

Reading something I wrote on actual newspaper! That feeling is priceless. The feeling that the editors barely touched it (again I don’t know how it usually works) is awesome. Although I wrote it around 2 or 3 months ago and that I haven’t checked them again since, it’s amazing that every word is still so strikingly familiar. I even knew which adjectives were coming next.  I don’t care if it’s mababaw for some or what but being published has always been one of those things I daydream about. In fact, posting a scanned part of the article and posting it here is something I’ve always imagined. Yeaaah, making my dreams come true one by one. Not bad, Timmy. Its actual happening makes me feel that I don’t suck at this: writing – which I enjoy doing just because. It makes me feel like I can do this, in the future, whether that future is near or far. At least I now have proof that I have taken a tiny tiny shot at it and my tiny tiny shot was reprinted at least a thousand times (again I’m not sure). Haha.

You can read the full article online. For the record, I did not come up with the title. I feel weird reading the title, it makes me think that someone had an eye surgery or something. And well, that someone is me. I didn’t know what title to put and my mom (who emailed it) added it apparently. Great. But it’s fine, I couldn’t think of anything better anyway, but still, maybe I wouldn’t have gone with “brand new”. It doesn’t sound like me. Haha. But anyway, thanks to everyone who congratulated me and even more thanks to the people who enjoyed reading it. Really, it means the world to me. Thanks thanks again. You’re the best. I remember writing in my blog before (which I never promoted) that as long as I get to write something that could potentially be meaningful to anyone, just anyone, then writing would be an awesome thing to do. Knowing that (at least) some people enjoyed my article is just. awesome. I have got to widen my vocabulary. Haha. And to Melissa who posted “i think you just successfully put into words what i’ve always wanted to say about my exchange program. thank you for this! made me reminisce about my own experience.” Thank you. It’s the best thing I could hear from anyone, I think. I don’t know her but I’m glad she felt that way and I’m even happier that she let me (and others) know. Loooveit. Looovethismorning.

As for the the guy who commented that I’m probably sheltered and not exposed to much information. Haha. It’s no problem. I agree. I don’t read newspapers and I only read novels when I have the time (though I really enjoy reading). As for the sheltered comment, I am not rich (I was and am on scholarship) but I am sheltered, I guess. So it’s okay. I just wanted to add that he may be right that I can experience other cultures without leaving the country, maybe, but I think I would be right if I argue that  of course having experienced things outside, having some concrete experiences to grasp, is an entirely different experience. With that, I respect the guy. He seems to be a very good writer, so yeah. Haha. World peace. Plus my friend said, “Hoy, that makes you legit. May haters ka.” And somehow I think she’s right.

P.S. Technically this is not my first published work (proud!). I wrote a short story before and was published in Junior Inquirer when I was in Grade 6! Haha. It’s called Alamat ng Mais and I wrote the story for my FIlipino subject. I perfectly remember the feeling of panic when I saw the title of that story on the newspaper. I was panicking  because I felt like my teacher would think I just copied the story! It took me one paragraph through the story to realize that the story was mine. I checked below the title (which somehow I forgot to do), and saw “Kuwento ni Timmy C. Caparros”. It is now framed and proudly hanging over my dressing table. Writing has always been a dream, I guess. I hope I get to do it more.

Here’s to the future.

Open

White Beach, Puerto Galera. January 21-23, 2012. Melissa and Jihed came to visit us here in the Philippines! They pinky-promised us back in HK and they kept that promise. For the weekend, we decided to go to Puerto Galera since it is the nicest nearest beach (I think). Titi and Dom tagged along with us. Titi, a French exchange student in my university, is practically a local and he arranged the place for us since he’s been to White Beach already (and all the rest of the beaches in the Philippines!). Dom has just been here for a month since he’s part of a special foreign program which starts halfway through the semester. And so, together, we had a blast riding the banana boat (where Kathleen and Melissa fell before we were supposed to fall), island-hopping, snorkeling, taking pictures inside the cave, eating, swimming, stargazing on the shore, playing luksong-baka on the beach (I don’t know what they call it), and singing karaoke. Doing great things in a great place with the best company. What more is there?

United Colors of Benetton.  Before riding the banana boat, Jihed asked me “Is it okay that people are staring?” I told her, “Of course, they’re staring because you look different.” Then she said, “But they’re staring at you two.” I hadn’t really noticed but she was right. People were staring at us. And I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised because it was indeed an unusual sight – two Filipino girls who look like little kids (or so they say), with an Austrian guy with green eyes, a very tall Portuguese guy (who’s actually French), a Tunisian girl (who’s also actually French) with curly hair and a French girl with light brown hair. What could explain such different-looking people sticking together and having fun on the beach? I can’t really imagine what everyone who stared at us were thinking. But when we were island hopping, Manong asked us if we met in school and we explained our part. And I felt really happy explaining. I was hoping that while I shared, I could be a concrete example that yes,  people who look very different (Asians and Westerners) could very much like each other and get along well together. We were not tourist guides but we were friends.

 

My mom told me before that some guy told her that our society is converging into one big community – a world without borders. And I believe I like the idea of that. And if that’s the case, then we’re not heading to a such a bad place (maybe the place might have lesser trees, but we’re working on that as well). During my first two weeks in my exchange semester, I told Kathleen that it’s starting to sink in that cultural differences were indeed significant and it’s a little hard to talk to these different people. This completely dissolved away when I actually got to know these people (especially Jihed and Melissa), how their lives are back in HK and what they think about things. We don’t agree on everything (such as divorce and religion) but this never clouded our friendship. Not once. We shared our sides and views, respected them and sometimes just laugh at each other’s disbelief. These girls helped us a lot, I trust them completely and I know we’ll be friends forever (cheesy). I guess you can guess what I’m driving at. I believe in this world without borders because I have experienced it first hand. I know I’ve only met a very small fraction of the world outside my country, but this experience is still evidence that it is possible.

And so next time, when you see a diverse group of people (like my mom said we looked like an ad for United Colors of Benetton), maybe the first reason you should think is that they are just a group of friends having fun. It doesn’t matter that we don’t look alike and we probably didn’t grow up in the same place, because really, it doesn’t. They might call luksong baka in some other language and some other name that doesn’t involve cows but what simply matters is that we were enjoying doing it. Language, skin and eye colors don’t really matter. It is interesting , yes, but what matters, in the end, is that you respect each other’s differences and you appreciate this world even more because of them. And with that, world peace everyone!

On our last day while singing karaoke, Dom sang “Where the Streets Have No Name” by U2. He explained that the song is about the situation in Ireland (I think), where people discriminate against each other (based on religion, if I remember correctly). And he said, you will know which side one is on just knowing his street name. And so U2 writes and sings about a place where the streets have no name. I think the song is worth sharing. World peace na talaga ito.

I wish I could bake a cake at of rainbows and smiles.

 

 

Boom Badoom Boom Bass

# 1 Seek out the beauty in everything and everyone! Time to think positive (again). I am now convinced that wherever you are, you will find something beautiful and worth sharing about – which I know applies to people as well. I need to make extra effort to see the good in everyone. Nothing is simply black or white and it’s all a matter of perspective.

# 2 Not care what people think or say about me. Exception if these people are friends or family who actually know me and care what happens to me. Cheesy sounding and super cliche but well I have to keep it in mind always. How many times have I been prevented from doing something because I might get stabbed (figuratively and literally hoho) when I did something which was perfectly harmless and only concerns myself? The goal is to lessen that. It could be the last year, you know (hopefully not), so why bother thinking about insignificant things? In the words of Joe in Princess Diaries, “Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.”. More importantly, in the words of Bon Jovi, “It’s my life. It’s now or never. I ain’t gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I’m alive. It’s my life. My heart is like an open highway. Like Frankie said, I did it my way. I just wanna live while I’m alive ’cause it’s my life.” Powerful words, right there.

# 3 Be less pusong bato. So a lot of people know/think I have a heart of a rock (but I cry in seconds). I don’t know why. There are certain things I hate being/appearing emotional about, especially stuff that don’t directly concern me. I could be very selfish when I think it’s reasonable. But then I realized the value of sympathizing more, mostly when I watched 100 Days to Heaven and saw how alike I am with the lead and sided with her often in her ‘misdeeds’ (funny but true), so yes, time to change. Just because something is correct objectively (or legally in the show’s case), doesn’t mean it’s the right thing to do. I need to be more giving of myself, less materialistic and be a lot more sensitive. This is going to be a challenging year. Haha.

And of course, the mini-resolutions:

a) Drink more water. I’ve improved a lot in 2011 already, especially since it was one of my resolutions last year; but I need to be more consistent. I realized I drink a lot already when I’m at home but not when I’m in school. So, time to drink a lot of water all the time.

b) Maximize my planner. I always buy planners with many lines and many little boxes for Things-to-Do, etc. but I never really get to write much in them. This year I bought a simpler planner but I hope I still get to actually write the things before they happen.

c) Continue to blog. My goal this year (although the upcoming semester is known to be the hardest evaah) is to write one post a week, or at least one every two weeks. I’m really liking wordpress which  hopefully is enough incentive to continue blogging here.

d) Read the newspaper and world map. I’ve finally realized these two are obligatory.

2011 has been one of the best years ever. It was full of blessings, dreams coming true and moments of pure bliss. Let’s go 2012, I know it keeps getting better and better. (Already thinking positive and it’s not yet 2012, you go Timmy!)

Hong Kong National Day, Tsim Sha Tsui. October 1, 2011. Blindly following a huge crowd resembling a mass migration and climbing over metal barricades to get the perfect view while wearing skirt and wedges led me, Melissa and Kathleen to witness a breathtaking fireworks display: really big colorful circles radiating from dots in the night sky.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! MAY IT BE FILLED WITH LOVE AND PEACE! Carpe diem!

I’ve done it before, I can do it again.

On Being Back

The Prodigal Daughter Returns. I am back, friends and countrymen! I arrived in Manila on the first few hours of the 23rd. After more than an hour of delay and two offers of HK$800 if I boarded a later flight (which we both declined), I finally reached home (which is not really that far away considering it’s a 1.5 hour flight). My mom kept asking me if it feels surreal that I’m back and the truth is, I wasn’t exactly sure. Well, until I read what my friend Bernie posted in facebook, “Feels like I never left Austria!” I realized I felt exactly the same way. It’s really quite strange though. After talking to my parents for around an hour in the living room, I went up our stairs, switched on the lights in the stairs, switched off the dining room light then went on straight up (I am the only one who does this at home because I don’t like moving in a dark place even though I know it by heart). I brushed my teeth, fixed my pillows and teddy bears, locked my door, turned on my speaker then lied down to sleep. This is my routine every night and it’s amazing how naturally I did them again without thinking. I know I’ve only been away for four months but it was four months I dropped these routines! It made me think maybe I’m such a walking schedule of events that the only thing that kept me from doing these routines was simply that I couldn’t. I didn’t have the same stairs, the same lights and the same speakers in my dorm. I know I am not the most spontaneous person on Earth (I’m really rarely spontaneous) but still, this was pretty strange for me – unexpected, really.

And so the next day, I found myself alone at home because everyone in my family was working already. (A first!) I spent the day figuring out how to work the digibox on our TV and again, despite these changes, it didn’t feel like I spent the past four months in another place in another country. It felt like one of those lazy days I have during long breaks. We went to attend Mass in Gesu, which I always look forward to during Christmas, and again, I felt like I’ve been attending Simbang Gabi in this place since the beginning. I suddenly felt as if my Hong Kong memories were years ago, when in fact, I was just there a few hours ago. And I didn’t know what to think about that, which is why I was so relieved when I saw that Bernie felt the same way.

Sneezing and Escalators. However, we spent the day of Christmas Eve in a mall because my mom and uncle were getting their phones and while we were waiting in the store, I sneezed. Aside from the fact that I am frequently sneezing again (I stopped sneezing when I was in HK), my first impulse was to say “Gesundheit!” and “A tes souhaits!” And finally, the hit I’ve been expecting since I got back, landed on my face, figuratively. I was finally convinced, yes Timmy, your exchange semester has just ended and it is still very fresh in your mind. I will miss saying these phrases and even more, the people I said it to. The second and third hit involved the escalators. When we were going down to eat, my brother and uncle went to the right escalator as I was walking to the left one. Again, I realized I’ve gotten used to the way escalators are in most of the malls in HK. And it really made me laugh. I think I spent at least half of my stay there getting used to the way the escalators were there and here I was, unthinkingly moving to the left: HK style. Haha. And so, when I finally stepped on the escalator, I stepped on the left side and again unaware, moved to the right. I was talking to my brother there and I couldn’t figure out why I was so uneasy. Then I realized it was because he was on the left and did not ‘Keep Right’. I laughed again and explained to my brother why. And then again, in my head, yes I’m back and yes you have lived in another country long enough to care about keeping right.

And so as I notice new stores along Katipunan and inside Trinoma plus new houses built in our subdivision, my brother’s new shoes, and my mom’s increased work things, I realize that I have indeed been gone for quite a while but not long enough to make anything even the slightest bit alien to me. Well maybe there’s no time period long enough to make home alien to anyone who lived there. Maybe that’s how home works. I wouldn’t know, four months is the longest I’ve been away and before that the longest I’ve gone was a week (when I was in Singapore). I have bits and pieces of Hong Kong flashbacks when I hear some songs or when someone talks about the MRT here or simple things like the escalator scenario; but on top of all those, it is a relief to be waking up from my own bed, watching shows in a language I can understand and using a bathroom I completely trust. (Long story, I have a thing for bathrooms.) After three days of being back and one day after Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year, I can confidently say: There really is no place like home.

On other things, I will try and write about everything I want to about Hong Kong. There are many many things I still want to share and of course I now need to edit my short description on my sidebar since I’m not an exchange student anymore (huhu). I know I will miss HK more in the coming days and months but I know it’s just a few hours away and there’s always the hope of coming back there soon. Til then, I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

We fell in love in a hopeless place.

Simply logic

Philippines vs. The World 2 (Again, I love the world. Peace.)

It’s about time I write a second one. There have been so many things I’ve learned already about all sorts of differences and similarities, subtle and striking, as we randomly do things here and sometimes when we stay up until three in the morning just talking about our lives back home. But, what I’m in the mood to share about right now is about the ‘dangerous Philippines’.

Insiders. So many exchange students have gone to the Philippines already. There was even a week when there was at least one group flying out each day. Some went to Cebu, others to Puerto Galera, some to Subic and some just in Manila and since there are only two Filipina exchange students here (Pilipinas reprezzent), they ask us about places where they should go, how long the flight is, but most importantly, they always ask us, “Is it really dangerous in the Philippines?” in this I-don’t-want-to-offend-you-but-I-just-really-wanna-know kind of way. I was never offended, really, because well I know my country isn’t the safest place on this Earth. Locals still ask me about the hostage taking, other exchange students remind the others to watch their bags, etc. All those were not new to me, I watch my things carefully in the Philippines, I know that the hostage taking took place – I even watched it live on TV. And so, I always tell them, ‘Well, you just have to be careful and watch your things, don’t go to sketchy places, and you’ll be fine. It’s dangerous but only in some parts.’ Always, I say this. For me it’s common sense to do these things when you go to an unfamiliar place, be it in the safest place in the world (wherever that may be) or the complete opposite. Unfamiliar usually spells caution. Because again, I feel like this ‘danger’ in the country is overrated, in the same way, that a lot of people think that the Philippines is at war (what they mean is the war in Mindanao). I feel like aside from our beaches and Manny Pacquiao, the only thing people know about the Philippines are the crimes they see on the news. And I can’t blame them, it’s just how it is. I’m guilty of doing the same thing for other countries. The only thing I know about Austria is what I’ve seen from “The Sound of Music” and so – I get it, I get them. And of course, if there’s anything I’ve learned during my two-month stay so far is: never assume you fully get anything. Because apparently, I was far from getting ‘it’.

Outsiders. We got to talk to one of our German friends when he came back from the Philippines and he started with the good stuff: everyone was so nice, they loved the fact that everyone was smiling, the food was great, they could not get enough of being called Sir during their entire stay, the beaches were awesome (some said it’s really paradise). Very heartwarming, yes. Shocking, not so much. And then he moved on to describing Manila. He said it’s very strange. He wasn’t trying to say it was bad or good, he was just saying it’s different. He said, “What is it in Manila, where there are gates… um, gates? Walls? Something like that.” He was struggling to find the word and so we were struggling to figure out what he was trying to say. We decided quickly that he was talking about Intramuros, walled city and a tourist spot, makes sense. Then he said, “No, it’s not like that. People live inside.” And now, I was so confused, what is this German guy trying to say? After a lot of asking and explaining, I finally got to ask, “What do you mean? Subdivisions? Like villages?” I explained what it was though I had a weird time explaining subdivisions. It’s like explaining why the sky is blue (corny, though we learned the actual reason why in Physics and I was so amused). Subdvisions, it’s just what it is. What is the big deal about it? At this point I was more lost than ever.

To cut the story short, after he finally absorbed that it’s very normal to have subdivisions in the Philippines and after a lot of ‘that’s so strange’ comments, he finally explained. He said that in Germany they did not have gates. I said, oh yeah, like in the US, only cute little fences. Eric, another German, said that they did not have fences either. He said something like, if you wanna see me, you just go to my house and open my door. Okay, kinaya ko pa to, thanks to movies. So he asked me if I lived in one of those things and I said, yup with the gates and everything. He then mentioned that what was even more strange is the fact that these gated villages had security guards with shotguns. And I just had to say, “Uh, our security guards have shotguns too.” By this time, Eric was really shocked. You live in a place with guards with shotguns? And I was, yeaah, that’s what you pay for – security. He said it’s weird that I would feel safe in a place surrounded with armed men. And I really couldn’t follow their logic. Isn’t it weirder to feel safe in an unguarded place? It really made zero sense to me. He said he has always felt weird in our dorms because there are guards everywhere, going around, and forever in the entrance. So strange. Ayun, so strange. And because we’ve had so many talks about cultural differences and other things, I had to open my mind which I thought was already very open. So this is what they meant by saying that the Philippines is dangerous. Well at least one of the reasons. It’s because we need security guards with bigaszz shotguns to protect us. Okay, it’s starting to make more sense now that I think about it. I wouldn’t say it completely makes sense to me now but well I’m starting to see the light from their side. Golly, the world is indeed big. I’m still thinking what else I can say about this but until now that I got think about it again, I still don’t know what to make of it. Mhmm. Thoughts anyone? Haha.

Nitty-Gritty. He added that between these big villages, there are clumps of makeshift houses which again did not make sense to him. It’s been pointed out countless times that the gap between the rich and the poor in the Philippines is pretty big but when he put it that way, in this sincerely incredulous face, it has a different effect, you know. Slap on the face again that yes, it is very strange. Another thing from a French friend, when I was explaining to her that when I commute, I would never sleep because of the risk of getting your phone stolen, she just looked at me and literally just opened her mouth for a second. She said, “This is what I meant when you say that the Philippines is not dangerous, maybe it’s just for you since you’re local.” I said it’s not like that because I thought she was trying to imply that it’s more dangerous for foreigners simply because their foreigners. (Sometimes yes, because anyone with blue eyes, brown hair and white skin would look rich in the country.) But apparently, she was trying to say that it’s not that dangerous for us because we grew up in this. We are used to these things and it’s “stupid” to do some things that would attract danger. Apparently, the “stupid” things are far from stupid to them. And again it will always be hard to put myself in their shoes simply because it’s not that easy to wear another pair, you know. I have spent the whole of my nineteen years on this planet in the same country, learning the ropes (and still learning a lot) on how to survive in it. I still cannot get a handle on these “other” things now that I’m starting to hear about them (e.g. Bernice who we met in Guangzhou recently said that her Finnish friends just leave their houses open in Finland – whyyy). I have never known any other way on how to simply be in a country, well, at least now I’m learning.

Disclaimer: I do not represent the country when I said that I don’t sleep while commuting for fear of getting my phone stolen. I know a lot of my friends sleep and they don’t lose anything. Just to be clear. I know praning ako than most people. 

I’m starting to realize every after I write stuff like this, I don’t what to think. Just like my first P vs. W post, I don’t know what to say except that National Geographic had it right: The more you know, the more you know you don’t know.

 Just because I want a picture in this post. Hundred Islands 2011. Just one of the many paradises in the most awesome country evaah. 

It’s like summer everyday in the Philippines, right? No wonder you guys are always so happy.

Something Sweet

It’s two minutes to 3 am and I just came from Ocean Park’s Halloween Bash. I’ve so many things to do for tomorrow and for the next two weeks and I’ve no idea how to do them. I am so behind on everything, golly, and I can’t sleep because I’m still full and I’m afraid to have nightmares especially after the zombies/ghosts/crazy spinning-turning-you-upside-down rides we took. And then I saw something from my friend’s tumblr (hearticulate.tumblr.com) and I feel like I can sleep now. Haha, thanks sexy beast. Gives me hope.

“I want you to bite my lip until I can no longer speak. And then suck my ex girlfriend’s name out of my mouth just to make sure she never comes up in our conversations. I’m going to be honest, I’m not really a love poet. In fact, every time I try to write about love, my hands cramp – just to show me how painful love can be. And sometimes my pencils break, just to prove to me every now and then love takes a little more work then you planned. See, I heard that love is blind, so I write all my poems in braille. And my poems are never actually finished because true love is endless. I always believed that real love is kind of like a super model before she’s airbrushed; It’s pure, and imperfect – just the way that God intended.

I’m going to be honest, I’m not a love poet… But if I was to wake up tomorrow morning and decide that I really wanted to write about love – I swear that my first poem would be about you. About how I love you the same way I learned how to ride a bike. Scared, but reckless. With no training wheels or elbow pads so my scars can tell the story of how I fell for you. You see, I’m not really a love poet. But if I was I would write about how I see your face in every cloud and your reflection in every window. You see, I’ve written like a million poems hoping that somehow, maybe some way you’ll jump out of the page and be closer to me – because if you were here, right now, I would massage your back until your skin sang songs that your lips don’t even know the words to. Until your heartbeat sounds like my last name and you smile like the Pacific Ocean. I want to drink the sunlight in your skin.

If I was a love poet, I’d write about how you have the audacity to be beautiful. Even on days when everything around you is ugly. You see, I’d write about your eyelashes and how they’re like violin strings that play symphonies every time you blink. If I was a love poet I would write about how I melt in front of you like an ice sculpture. Every time I hear the vibration in your voice and whenever I see your name on the caller ID, my heart – it plays hopscotch inside of my chest. Yo, it climbs onto my ribs like monkey bars and I feel like a child all over again.

I know this sounds strange, but every now and then I pray that God somehow turns you back into one of my ribs just so that I would never have to spend an entire day without you. And I swear, I’m not a love poet. If I was to wake up tomorrow and decide that I really want to write about love. You’re my first poem; it would be about you.

Let’s put it like this, I wanna be your ex-boyfriend’s stunt man. I wanna do everything that he never had the courage to do; like trust you. I swear that when our lips touch I can taste the next 60 years of my life. And some days, I want to swallow stacks of your pictures just so you can be a part of me for a little bit longer. If I could, I would sample your smile and then I’d let my heart create the baseline; we would create the greatest love song of all time whenever we stand next to each other. Together, we could be music. And when my friends ask if you’re my girlfriend, I’ll tell them, “No, she’s my musician.” And me? I’m her favorite song.”

— Rudy Francisco

P.S. Random or not so random. Unlike most people, I learned how to ride a bike without falling down. My tita and my yaya then would hold my bike and run alongside me when I still couldn’t balance it. When I’m about to fall down, I’d just scream and they’d catch up with me. I loved the feeling when I finally did it on my own but when I had a bad experience with it later on, I didn’t want to ride it anymore. Hmm.

The problem with you is that you’re always afraid of making a mistake (Estrella 2011).

Hindi mo na kailangang mapaso para malaman mong masakit yun (Garces 2009).

Don’t Blink

Things are not turning out the way I imagined them to be these past few days (with our visa and trips and others). It’s like up and down and up and down and up and down, well you get the point. And these minor humps are getting to me more than I’d want them to (you know me). That is why I have now officially decided to let all the bad juju out of my system. Time to think positive. I don’t have much time to write since I promised myself I’d study this week and I borrowed two novels and I have yet to send my postcards but whatever. So I’ll make this short and sweet – like me. Harharhar.

Everyone says JTA will be the best four months of your young adult life, or at least, surely the best experience you’ll be having so far. Seriously, everyone says that and I feel like it puts this pressure on people who go on JTA. It’s like What if it’ not as fun as people make them out to be? Won’t that feel so bad on your part? I don’t know. I was honestly thinking about this before I left and talking to Kathleen on the plane let me know that I wasn’t the only one who had these thoughts. But, thank God, after around two weeks of being here – I could officially say, I heart HK. So, to accomplish the objective of draining the bad juju out of my system, I shall list the awesome “little” moments I’ve had here. I could even call them bliss (defined as a state of profound satisfaction, happiness and joy… undisturbed by gain or loss -according to Wikipedia).

With Lou (France) and Kathleen in front of one of the temples in Lantau Island

a) Getting hit by the thought that “Yes Timmy you are now finally travelling” and realizing it’s even greater than I hoped it would feel like, while walking through the stone statues in Lantau Island b) Seeing the Hong Kong skyline – which looks exactly like my desktop wallpaper back home – in person c) riding the MTR alone to pick up my laptop using just google maps on my phone and actually finding it d) drinking Happy Lemon here for the first time e) local students going inside the kitchen just to see what we’re cooking because “it smells so good” [it was just adobong sitaw] f) being known as the Filipinas who bring the sun into other people’s lives because of our ever present smiles g) laughing so hard at 2 am when we randomly shared Filipino jokes h) going down from the 19th floor with laptop in hand and earphones in place and entering our room on the third floor with For the First Time filling my head and feeling like I’m in a movie i) finding the boat after getting lost in the woods (story to follow) j) hearing people say that the Philippines is a ‘very very beautiful place’ k) running like crazy and going over road fences just to get a better view of fireworks (story to follow) l) reading a book under a tree on a windy day while feeling so deep and artsyfartsy m) enjoying the rush of planning trips, booking flights, trains, hotels and hostels n) saying something in Filipino to Kathleen then a friend replying, I know what you said – and he did (he just knew by how I said it) o) pausing at the part of the hiking trail that lets you see the breathtaking view of everything below and then making me realize that “Yes, I would like to see more.”

I’ve been looking out that window for eighteen years, dreaming what I might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it’s not everything I dreamed it would be? And what if it is? What do I do then? -Tangled

Bananas in Pajamas

Philippines vs. The World # 1

Disclaimer: This post is not meant to offend anyone. I just like the sound of ‘Philippines vs. The World’, but it’s not meant to have any kind of negativity whatsoever. I just wanna write down my observations and compare it with my country. Plus, I love the world; so, peace.

Like I said before, I  am starting to realize and learn a lot of things here in HK. Now, I am totally convinced that I chose the right country and school to go to. I chose Hong Kong because first, I cannot afford Europe. Second, scholarships were available here. Third, I heard from a friend who came here that this university has an awesome exchange student program and you have like 200 exchange students from tons of different countries. She was right. I think right now we’re around 280 exchange students and their countries of origin range from Lithuania to Kazahkstan to US to Australia to Taiwan. What is diverse? Haha. So yes, I feel like I’m getting the best of both worlds here. I’m not so far from the Philippines but I am experiencing cultures so different from me at the same time. Doesn’t get better than that, so for that, I am very thankful.

With some exchange students in Cheung Chau Island.

Cutting the intro short since I’ve nothing else to say, let us begin. Haha.

Banana. I learned the concept of banana here for the first time from a German friend. So the basic idea is that bananas are yellow on the outside and white on the inside and from what I understood so far it could have two meanings: 1) an Asian who simply grew up in the West and 2) an Asian who may or may not have grown up in the west but acts and looks ‘so Western’. And now that I’m writing about it, they always use it for Asian girls. I’ve never heard anyone using it on Asian guys, maybe it’s just for girls? No idea. Anyway, so yeah you get the point. It’s basically an Asian looking person (who is Asian) who is Western on the inside. I found it pretty interesting. So the negative part of the banana I guess is these Asian girls who have tons of makeup and who dresses so… I don’t know how to call it, differently? Well, whatever, I’ve always believed it’s their choice so maybe I’ve no problem with that (most of the time). And I really thought about this. I mean, I love the whole American pop culture scene, I think, and I know so many people who love it too. The TV shows, the music, the movies, the actors, the clothing brands. And honestly, I’d totally pick US shows over Filipino shows and US movies over Filipino movies (there are exceptions, of course). Plus, it has always been “cool” to like these things and most of the time, the semi-rich to rich people are the ones who love it, so everyone just goes ahead and loves it too; but I can’t deny either that these shows are great, some are even awesooome (e.g. Vampire Diaries!!!), so does this make me a banana? And more importantly, what does it mean if it makes me (and almost all my friends) a banana? Is it a good thing, is it a bad thing? Well, at least I can say that I don’t believe that things are simply just black and white. Almost nothing is like that, maybe just in science and stuff, but almost never in everything else.

Oh, and of course, the accent thing! You may not believe it (and I’ve made so many of my friends laugh about it already) but there are a significant number of local and exchange students here who guess that I’m from the US. Yes, I can hear you laughing right now and yes I know what you’re thinking, but I’m really not kidding. They actually think that. They say that because my ‘accent’ and my English is so good that they think that. This is not a new thing, I’ve heard it before when I went to Singapore and what other reason is there for the presence of tons of call centers in the country. And they ask us if the medium of instruction of our home university is in English and all I could think of was of course. I thought it was like that for all countries – I was so wrong. Ako na ang clueless. I thought of which subjects were taught in Filipino in the Philippines and it dawned on me that well, there’s Filipino and Social Science (not even always), we said that and again, they were shocked. Apparently they learn in their native language. I even have this German friend who has to bring a pocket dictionary and his phone to translate what the teacher is saying. He switches from his notebook to the powerpoint to his phone to his pocket dictionary. I just cannot imagine how that must feel like. He shared that the finance terms are in German in his university, and now that’s the shock for me. I cannot imagine Accounting or Finance or Math being taught in Filipino. The image and the idea of having to do that is sooo alien(?) to me.

Then I remember debates about this subject. To learn or to not learn things in our native language? People argue that learning things in our native language is much easier for students since they don’t have to learn English and translate and stuff. Arguments for being nationalistic always come out too and yes I think it’s kinda true. I mean, come on, people think it’s so cool when you speak English, hence the term conyo (don’t know the spelling), and that’s strange for other countries because they love their language. And speaking of, I remember one night in the park. Another German guy (yes there’s a huge group of Germans here haha) and a local student were arguing about educational systems in Europe and in China. He says that he thinks if local students here did not have to learn an infinite number of characters (seriously, they have a LOT of characters) and instead just had to learn 26 letters of the alphabet, then maybe they can spend their time on more ‘worthwhile’ things and  become awesome scientists and advance their country and things like that. The local student then argues that a lot of scientists in US and in Europe are Asians, etc. etc. And so the argument goes on, but I feel like I’m more convinced of the German guy, but that’s just the thing.

I feel like I agree with this German guy because I grew up trying to learn English and learning that speaking English is awesome. I learned English by watching US cartoons, then TV shows (Oh Disney and Nickelodeon) then movies. I know the meaning behind phrases such as ‘show up’, ‘what say you’, etc which does not make sense to some Europeans here because I very much grew up with these phrases and is still growing up with them. And so everyone tells me here that it’s good that I know English. Everyone agrees that it’s very good and it’s very practical and some say they wish they can speak English as good as we can but of course there’s the cheesy nationalistic side that slams the fact that there are tons of Filipino words that are meaningless to me even if they’re not that deep in my face.

I feel this topic is so out of my league and on any other occasion I would never write about this. I never write about “serious” things likes this, I mean I write light happy mababaw things. Haha. But this really made me think. I feel like I’m a banana in a way, you know. And if I am, I know so many other bananas back home. I just don’t know what to make of that. I don’t know, you tell me.

Philippines vs. The World. I just have to so many observations here and I again I can’t help but compare things here (and things I learn from different people from different countries) with things in the country. This banana topic is one and I have other stuff I’d like to write about next time – so yeah. I’m trying to make it like a series of blog posts about this. Yeeees, feeling blogger na talaga ako. Pagbigan please.

But I think you are a strong person.

Why not?

Why not, take a crazy chance? Why not do a crazy dance? If you lose the moment, you might lose a lot, so why not? -Hilary Duff’s Why Not

In twenty one hours, I would have spent my first week out of sixteen weeks here in Hong Kong. If you don’t know yet or have not read my sidebar, I am currrently an exchange student in Hong Kong for the Fall Semester. After deciding to finally leave my LiveJournal which lasted four years, my soul brotha blogger Jose suggested I start my blog with a post that’ssomething like “Hong Kong in a Nutshell”, but because I rarely research about things I write because I think it takes out the fun in writing (boo me), I decided to do something else.

Hong Kong in Seven Days

Needless to say I am learning a lot here. No, my classes have not yet started but the er, realizations I’ve been gaining about how big the world really is, are really interesting and it made me think a lot about a lot of things, not just about how different/same my country is with the world but also about what lies out there that I have yet to see and experience. The big word on this term abroad is: cultural differences. I don’t know if culture is the biggest factor in these differences, maybe in habits, that’s true but differences in perspectives, I don’t know. I can’t even exactly define what culture is and how far it affects something in a person but whatever. I just wanna write down the random things I’ve noticed and learned so far that really interested me.

1. 55555555 |  I was chatting in facebook with a new friend I met in the school orientation. She’s from mainland China, somewhere near Shanghai I think. We exchanged messages then she typed a string of 5′s, as in, 5555555, something like that. I asked her what that was about and she said it was her way of saying she’s sad. It was like her version of huhuhu or wawawa. She said it’s because in saying a string of 5′s sounds like your’e crying. I can’t remember if it’s hu or wa, and I can’t listen to google translate pronounce 5 in Chinese, but there you get the point. Haha. Found that pretty cool.

2. Tea Thank You | We’ve been having traditional Chinese food here and tea’s always served. For our first night, we went to Kowloon City and went to this tiny restaurant where the menu was in pure Chinese characters so the local students ordered for us. Tea was served immediately and since recenetly my mom keeps craving for TBoy, I’ve gotten used to drinking tea. However, I was pretty tired from walking all the way to Kowloon City, I didn’t know it was going to be that far. We were all sweating like crazy and the weather here is crazy humid. So Kathleen requested for cold water. The local student asked the waitress but then she said they don’t have cold water, only room temperature water. So they said it was fine, then the waitress came back to say that all they have is hot water. There. Okay, I find that really interesting, okay? Haha. What is different? So we’ve been having tea a lot recently, thankfully I love it and yesterday we were taught how to say thank you when being served tea. You tap your fore finger and middle finger together on the table while saying thanks. I think this was mentioned during one of our school’s predeparture seminars but I can’t remember. Again, I found that pretty cool.

3. Keypads | Another thing I’ve noticed here is that almost everyone is using an iPhone. As in everyone, it’s pretty interesting. Anyway, so we’ve been exchanging our HK numbers and stuff then I had to type my name into a German girl’s iphone. So when I reached ‘y’ in ‘timmy’, I was, “Where is y?!” Apparently, German keypads are different because the Y and the Z are exchanged. I’m not sure if that’s the only thing that’s different but yeah. That’s pretty different already because I’ve always thought keyboards were universal. When I was sharing this to Kathleen, our French friend said, we have a different keypad too. Great, world-shattering. Haha. I felt so stupid but it’s okay, I’m used to it. It was nice to learn that though.

4. Characters | I’ve been seeing a lot of new characters recently, as in like the fancy a with the two dots on top, tons of Chinese characters, strange spelling of names like ‘nh’. I just find it really cool that I met someone with the a-dot-dot. Apparently, each a has a different way of pronouncing it, it’s not that complicated though I think. It’s just like short a and long a but still, it’s cool. Another guy, he’s Swedish but he’s from Vietnam. His name is Binh. The ‘nh’ is pronouced the same way as the ñ. Also, I’ve noticed a lot of people use the “~” here when they chat and type. Then, also, a Singaporean told me when we were looking at the menu at the Floating Restaurant that the Chinese characters there are spoken differently in Cantonese and Mandarin but they use the same characters. Yeah, so that’s just a ton of random observations about characters here. Pretty interesting, I think.

5. Beaches | Now this is just a funny story. So I met a Malaysian guy a while ago and he asked what was nice about the country or something like that. So we mentioned that there are so many beautiful beaches in the Philippines, like seriously. We were going on and on abou tthe beaches and he suddenly said, “You mean, there are many beautiful girls in your country?” It took me a second and it had me burst out laughing. That was crazzyy. Pronunciation’s a huge factor in conversation these days, seriously. Barok is just not acceptable. Plus, I finally learned that the translations of text in Koko Krunch cereal boxes are Malay. I have memorized them every since I was young, always fascinated with different languages, and I actually got to ask the Malaysian guy if it “Tahukah Anda” is indeed “Did You Know?” Haha. Yes, I knew I could’ve always googled it, but where’s the fun in that?

6. Snow and Ice | I got to hang out with a girl from Czech Republic and New York yesterday. They were talking about the weather, especially since the American girl’s hometown is apparently underwater then. They were sharing that it’s always so cold in Czech Republic and they were sharing stories about snow. They were talking about how such a big hassle snow is, etc. etc. And all I could say was, “Wow, you have snow.” She replied, “Yes, I feel very bad for you” in this sarcastic way and all I cuold do was laugh. It’s pretty cool, we really always want the things we don’t have. I don’t know why that is, maybe because you’re always so curious about things you don’t have. I’ve always wanted to play with snow, and make a snow angel and stuff like that. I could make a kickasz snowman. But here she was, explaining how hard it was to shovel and all. Plus, she said that now they’re getting ice storms. I love how she said it, “Apparently, ice storms are the new thing now. Thanks, global warming.” So true. She said this was much worse, the roads get cleared of ice but the sidewalks don’t. They walk on the sidewalks covered with an inch of ice, scared of slipping in every step. Interesting, again.

7. Art | I’ve met two art exchange students here. One is from Germany and one is from Spain. The girl from Spain has apparently been all around the world and when we were walking in the streets of Lan Kwai Fong, she was sharing how she thinks that the world is ruled by money that’s why people are sort of forced to go into business and these technical things that they don’t really wanna do. (She found out I was studying Business, just like majority of the international students here.) She said that it’s fine since obviously we need money to survive but she feels like we still need to do something for ourselves. The other student was then talking about art with our French friend. She was saying that she thinks the only people who have a shot at being creative are those people who are not afraid to make mistakes. I think this was after she heard this local student practice piano in the piano room here in the halls. She said that they just go and go you know, and that’s what makes them creative. And there I was sitting beside them thinking if I should drop my calligraphy course or not since the building was apparently four stations away. It also again, took me to my piano days. I stopped playing when I screwed up my recital piece when I was in Grade 6. I haven’t played hardcore pieces since then, not even my Grade 6 recital piece which I know, I know by heart. Haay. These people made me really think you know, like that’s so true. Even when I dance I’m always so afraid to make a mistake, but comeon. I miss doing these things, things that make me happy, because I’m afraid to make a mistake. Golly, cheesy, but yeah, they’re so right. (But yes, I think I’m still dropping my calligraphy. But now I’m suddenly thinking again.)

So yeah, technically, it’s still not seven days. But whatever, I’m learning in a crazy pace here and I actually like what I’m learning. Nothing’s conclusive though, and that’s what’s awesome about it. I dove into JTA Sem with only the burning desire to travel (nuks). I didn’t know where I could go. It’s really crazy how I’m here right now (sadly I can’t use the phrase halfway around the world) and how I’m meeting people from all over the Earth. It’s really just awesome.

I’m hoping I get to meet even more people and learn even more interesting things than these. I changed my blog because I felt like it. Change is scary but staying stuck in the same place is a lot scarier. So, why not?

Hilary Duff had it right. (P.S. I'll post pictures soon.)